Although under appeal, our 2007-2008 basketball record has been changed from 38-2 to 0-40. The NCAA has taken wins, a Final Four, a C-USA tourney championship, streaks, and banners away from the University. That makes Tiger fans upset. But what if YOU had to suffer FINANCIALLY for the sanctions imposed on the University of Memphis basketball team because of the actions of John Calipari and Derrick Rose? In this time of economic downturn, every bit counts.
Well all you reading (and not just Tigers fans, but "you" as a collective public) who participated in a 2008 NCAA Tournament pool better ready yourselves for a litigious dogfight. See all you people who won money in such pools may not be the real winners of that money, and you should give it back because 5 of the 38 wins that were turned to dust came in the NCAA tourney. Yeah, you've probably already spent that on important stuff like feeding your family, student loans, mortgage payments, charitable donations or, if you're from Loserville, "health insurance", but guess what, the NCAA could care less about whether or not you eat, or learn, or live! Cheating is cheating, and if you won money, even though you didn't know Rose's test scores were fake and Reggie was flyin' free, you cheated too and you should give it back!
HOLD ON! What about all you people who lost those pools? Maybe you are the real winner of the money in question! Because technically Memphis lost in the 1st round to UT-Arlington. So all you true UTA Mavericks fans, and the brainless 1.3% of the public, who picked the Mavs over the Tigers may have a claim. Yeah I know it was a first round game and only worth 1 point in the pool, but its the bracket aftermath that would benefit you. Where you at Starkville?! You're in the Sweet 16, that's where! Extra 4 points for the Dawgs that picked that one. But now THIS... IS... SPARTA! Assuming the Spartans win the MSU vs. MSU showdown, or you're a cocky bulldog who got drunk and put State in the Elite 8, that's an extra 8 points there. Either way, those two fan bases have equal claim along with Texas for a Final Four spot... worth 16 points. And UCLA will join your battle for the 32 points awarded for correctly picking a team in the championship game. The whole landscape has now changed! That is rightfully your money! Perhaps if the NCAA Clearinghouse had done their job, those winnings would have prevented an over drafted bank account, or defaulted loan, or car repossession! Or maybe, with the confidence that would have came with winning such a large amount of money and owning face over your peers, you would have asked out that cute girl in your Spanish class, gotten married, and have a nice little family! COMO ESTAN SNITCHES!?
According to reports, the FBI estimates that $2.5 BILLION is gambled on the NCAA tourney every year. So that leaves a whole bunch of you looking over your shoulder trying to protect your winnings, and a whole bunch more of you fired up and looking for your rightful share of that $2.5 bil. Either way, since you're upset and at a computer, you've gotta be looking for somebody you can email and say "Thanks for ruining my financial life!" We wouldn't be a friendly Tomb of Doom if we didn't point you in the right direction. Since none of us want to risk life and limb, or at least the contraction of a sick, sick disease, by venturing into the commonwealth of Kentucky to complain to X, and seeing as how the Clearinghouse is a tremendous, collective FAIL, let us aim for the Division 1 Committee on Infractions. This committee is made up of 10 individuals, and, wait, do I see a mutineer?! Yes! Somebody from our very own C-USA! The Commissioner no less! Let's pick him. Simply following this link will take you to the contact listings for C-USA. There you will see all the C-USA administration and their emails... including the Comish. But don't be fooled, clicking the link for his email will send your message to the black hole of firstname.lastname@example.org. Two options here: a) email his poor executive assistant or b) realize that C-USA emails are first initial then last name @c-usa.org.
Either way, you need to let somebody know that you have no plans to give that money back, or you plan on taking legal action to recover the winnings that you deserve! Just lookin' out for our Tombers.