Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Vote for The Tomb!

What's poppin' snitches! Its that time of year again when our boys over at Memphis Sport start handin out swag to the best of the best in Mid-South sports and we need your vote! The Tomb has been nominated for Best Sports Blog in the History of the World and since you're reading this, you know its true. So head on over to Memphis Sport and click on the M Awards image to vote!


Now, we know you love Chris Vernon, and quite frankly we do too, but the man is nominated for like 3 things so we suggest you give your Blog vote to us and give Verno a vote for "Favorite Local Sports Program"... after all, its there that you hear such gems as "The Coach O Song" and "Bum Trivia".

Also, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, for " Favorite Local TV Personality" we need all of you to write in "THE DOOR". The Door made a very strong statement during Cal-Gate, by keeping the spirits of Memphians high and giving us something to believe in while we searched for a new coach. The Door deserves recognition!!! I know what you're thinking... you're thinking "But Kristen Tallent is nominated in this category too and she's smokin' hot!" Yes, we agree she is very very attractive, but she is also nominated in the "Best Hair" category and she does have some pretty nice hair so vote for her there to show her some love.

Also, for "Favorite Fighter/Wrestler" please select Steven Combs. Combs is a good friend of the Tomb and a real stand up guy. When he's not bustin' heads, he's teaching martial arts to kids and finishing up nursing school. He does Judo because he loves it, not for the money, and he uses it to make a difference in the lives of others. Vote Combs!

OK, last 2. For "Favorite Coach" ... how does Cal get nominated and Pastner doesn't?! ... Write in Josh Pastner for this. And "Most Hated Rival"... Kentucky deserves a write in for this... not just the school, the whole commonwealth. After all, those borders house Loserville as well.

Swag Surf on over there and vote today!!!


Lance Stephenson Dunks Over Demarcus Cousins

Now for Some Real Tiger News...

Latavious Williams is publicly recruiting Lance Stephenson to join him at Memphis. Considering Williams hasn't signed with the Tigers yet, LW has either made up his mind or discovered that he's academically ineligible to go to Georgetown. Bring it, LW! Memphis is gonna learn you good.

Meanwhile, Eric Bledsoe's high school coach stated in an interview that he wished Bledsoe had chosen Memphis (or Cincinasty) all along. He is irked that Cal brought John Wall onto a team after telling Bledsoe that he'd have solid playing time as a starter. I don't blame Cal for recruiting Wall, but telling Bledsoe that he'd start is a flat out lie. Beyond that, the decision was Bledsoe's and his eyes just got bigger than his brain. It's not too late to ask for a release, Eric! Kentucky already has 4-5 more players than they do scholarships...
Meanwhile, Jeff Goodman at FOX has taken a big swig of the Kool-Aid and proclaimed that Calipari's turned Kentucky all the way around. You know, let's just send the Cats to Indianapolis and have them cut the nets. No one has even played a game yet! Give me a break.

Chad Ford has Tyreke going to the Raptors at #9. Way to go, Tyreke!


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Most Talented Bench Warmer

According to, John Wall has committed to the Dark Side (University of Kentucky) as of today, thereby securing Eric Bledsoe as the second-string point guard for the Cats. This blows my mind as Memphis could have a seriously competitive team with Bledsoe at the helm but instead he will be riding the pine in Lexington. Coach Cal, you did it again, you old rascal.

No News is Bad News

The off season is a good thing. Wait! No really! It gives us time to show more attention to our wives and build up brownie points by watching the Bachelorette with her until the season starts back up and you return Tiger basketball to its rightful place in your heart, first. The downside to the off season is the lack of news. This is especially bad for a blog that prides itself on giving you the latest news in the most entertaining way.
Rejoice. I have a solution.

There is a very successful website that operates in the business of "fake news." I personally only read this blog and (as should you) so I don't know the name of it but I hear good things. So today let the ridiculous stories commence.

Big man, Pierre Henderson-Niles, has legally changed his last name.....again. He will now be known as Pierre Henderson-Niles-Douglas-Roberts. When asked why the change Pierre said "Someone told me everyone knew why I was changing my name in the first place and so I figured I would just be more direct with my message."
Coach Pastner had this to say, "no slippage." While Angel Garcia was quoted as saying "uaghhadfklhasdkjhflkasdfh Pashner asdlkhflkajdfklhfjklsadkhdf Pier adlkhadlfhdl basketball."
While the name change might cause an issue with some fans who will keep forgetting the additional names when referring to the man-beast that is Pierre Henderson-Niles-Douglas-Roberts; the real problem has been in finding enough material to extend his jersey for the name change.
Here is an artists' rendering of what the jersey might look like:

We wish Pierre Henderson-Niles-Douglas-Roberts.....wait....this just in, He just added "-Dorsey" to his name. We will keep you posted on any more name changes.
Good luck, PHNDRD.

Josh Pastner has been a hit with the Memphis fans.
Especially with the
ladies. Partially because of his
ability to be so effective in recruiting and his
commitment to the dribble drive offense.
But the ladies
also love his hair. They have called his handsome locks
"sexy" "stylish" "fun and gay"(the old english version
of "gay") Pastner says thanks and as a way to give back
he his shaving his head and donating his hair to
Locks of Love to be made into a toupee for babies that
lack confidence. See the video here. We have a man on
the inside of the athletic office and he passed along Coach
Pastner's new Memphis staff picture.
Before and After:
Angel Garcia said about the Coach's decision,"hur fhisdkln nafsdkhn lksdfj Pashner."
However when Coach Cal was asked what he thought
of Coach Pastner's charitable gesture
he said "What a D-bag" and then hurled a baby over the
If you hear of anymore crazy news please let us know about it in the comments section. Now sound off.