Coming to America...

Fresh on the heels of my rant on the decline of the CUSA, the coaches show up on CUSA Media Day to raise the roof of the conference. Granted, pumping up all things CUSA related is essential on media day. It sits high on the Coach's Media Day Checklist:

1. Pump up your team. Talk about returning starters, the new blood and having the best fans in the world.
2. Pump up the Conference USA. Take it from a Top 5 Shmoozer of all time. You know him, you love him, Coach John Calipari...

   "Larry's team (Southern Miss), on the other hand, has five starters back," he said. "What's great with our league now … the Tulsa guys won their tournament. Barbee's team, he's walking with a foot between his feet and the floor so that tells you how good he believes his team is going to be. Mike Davis' team (at UAB), everybody is talking about. And all of you people are falling asleep on Marshall. They'll be outstanding.

   "Every team in our league has gotten better. There's a number of NBA-caliber players. I'm excited about the league and a little worried about my team. We've got good players, we just have to figure out who's going to be where and figure out how we're going to play."

3. Scope for a hot interview to get your team in the media. Sports Illustrated? Rivals.com? Those would be hot interviews, but I was thinking more along the lines of...

That's right, son! I'm takin' it back to puberty!

...It's Summer Sanders.

(On a horrible and hilarious sidenote, Summer Sanders left sportscasting to care for and spend an extensive amount of time naming her children, Skye Bella and Robert Charles Spider Schlopy. Come on, Summer. The boy is already gonna have to cope with Schlopy Seconds. Was it the Olympian in you? You just had to go for the gold and name the kid "Spider"?)

While Media Day is a chance for the conference coaches to smoke a peace pipe and stoke the fan's fires, it sounds like the coaches all feel that the Conference USA is on the verge of making a comeback. UAB, Tulsa and, possibly, UTEP have a chance to pick up some of the slack left Marquette, Cincy and Loserville. With Memphis getting as much national attention as it has the past couple years, there are plenty of opportunities for these teams to share in some of that spotlight (and I'm sure they have been in their recruiting). So, who is going to seize the reins and become part of the royal family of this league? Who will remain the court jester? Time will tell.