Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Fallout Continues...

Although under appeal, our 2007-2008 basketball record has been changed from 38-2 to 0-40. The NCAA has taken wins, a Final Four, a C-USA tourney championship, streaks, and banners away from the University. That makes Tiger fans upset. But what if YOU had to suffer FINANCIALLY for the sanctions imposed on the University of Memphis basketball team because of the actions of John Calipari and Derrick Rose? In this time of economic downturn, every bit counts.

Well all you reading (and not just Tigers fans, but "you" as a collective public) who participated in a 2008 NCAA Tournament pool better ready yourselves for a litigious dogfight. See all you people who won money in such pools may not be the real winners of that money, and you should give it back because 5 of the 38 wins that were turned to dust came in the NCAA tourney. Yeah, you've probably already spent that on important stuff like feeding your family, student loans, mortgage payments, charitable donations or, if you're from Loserville, "health insurance", but guess what, the NCAA could care less about whether or not you eat, or learn, or live! Cheating is cheating, and if you won money, even though you didn't know Rose's test scores were fake and Reggie was flyin' free, you cheated too and you should give it back!

HOLD ON! What about all you people who lost those pools? Maybe you are the real winner of the money in question! Because technically Memphis lost in the 1st round to UT-Arlington. So all you true UTA Mavericks fans, and the brainless 1.3% of the public, who picked the Mavs over the Tigers may have a claim. Yeah I know it was a first round game and only worth 1 point in the pool, but its the bracket aftermath that would benefit you. Where you at Starkville?! You're in the Sweet 16, that's where! Extra 4 points for the Dawgs that picked that one. But now THIS... IS... SPARTA! Assuming the Spartans win the MSU vs. MSU showdown, or you're a cocky bulldog who got drunk and put State in the Elite 8, that's an extra 8 points there. Either way, those two fan bases have equal claim along with Texas for a Final Four spot... worth 16 points. And UCLA will join your battle for the 32 points awarded for correctly picking a team in the championship game. The whole landscape has now changed! That is rightfully your money! Perhaps if the NCAA Clearinghouse had done their job, those winnings would have prevented an over drafted bank account, or defaulted loan, or car repossession! Or maybe, with the confidence that would have came with winning such a large amount of money and owning face over your peers, you would have asked out that cute girl in your Spanish class, gotten married, and have a nice little family! COMO ESTAN SNITCHES!?

According to reports, the FBI estimates that $2.5 BILLION is gambled on the NCAA tourney every year. So that leaves a whole bunch of you looking over your shoulder trying to protect your winnings, and a whole bunch more of you fired up and looking for your rightful share of that $2.5 bil. Either way, since you're upset and at a computer, you've gotta be looking for somebody you can email and say "Thanks for ruining my financial life!" We wouldn't be a friendly Tomb of Doom if we didn't point you in the right direction. Since none of us want to risk life and limb, or at least the contraction of a sick, sick disease, by venturing into the commonwealth of Kentucky to complain to X, and seeing as how the Clearinghouse is a tremendous, collective FAIL, let us aim for the Division 1 Committee on Infractions. This committee is made up of 10 individuals, and, wait, do I see a mutineer?! Yes! Somebody from our very own C-USA! The Commissioner no less! Let's pick him. Simply following this link will take you to the contact listings for C-USA. There you will see all the C-USA administration and their emails... including the Comish. But don't be fooled, clicking the link for his email will send your message to the black hole of info@c-usa.org. Two options here: a) email his poor executive assistant or b) realize that C-USA emails are first initial then last name @c-usa.org.

Either way, you need to let somebody know that you have no plans to give that money back, or you plan on taking legal action to recover the winnings that you deserve! Just lookin' out for our Tombers.

-Pistolier

Friday, August 21, 2009

Like Pitino Paying for "Health Insurance"...

The NCAA cleared Elliot Williams to play for the Tigers during the 2009-10 season. This is great news that is somewhat muffled by the current situation that is keeping Tiger fans awake at night...
Williams is a player who came on very strong late last season to help Duke to the Sweet 16. He can play the point if he needs to, which may be necessary if you look at the Tigers' woes in the backcourt. Most of all, Williams will provide some leadership to a crew who lost 4-year guys Dozier and Anderson.

Welcome, Elliot! Tiger fans are hoping you can help lay the foundation for a future of hard-fought, legitimate wins in the future of Tiger basketball!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The NCAA Cleared Rose to Play

The NCAA cleared Derrick Rose to play. That should be the main issue here. Memphis and its fans are being penalized for something that allegedly happened when Rose was in high school. Yes, the Reggie Rose issue is looming, but is that alone enough to vacate a 38 win season and a championship game appearance?

I just heard Doug Gottlieb say on ESPN that everyone is at fault, including the NCAA. Is the NCAA sanctioning itself? Is somebody getting fired? Probably not.

Garbage.

Nowhere to go but forward

Depending on when you read this, the University of Memphis Athletic Department is about to hold, or has already held, a news conference announcing the vacation of a NCAA Final Four appearance and 38 wins for the men's basketball program. This is the bottom. This is the culmination of past seasons of heartache, doublespeak, and deceit. This is the legacy of coach X... the skidmarks he has left in every pair of underpants he has ever worn. But this is not Memphis. Memphis is up off that broken road and headed toward a winning tradition that will stand the test of time. How could we not be? There is nowhere to go but forward. We'll post more on this throughout the day and days to come, but I'm too tired to continue right now... and not just because its 2:00am, but because I'm tired of my program taking hit after hit because of incompetent leadership in the Athletic Department and head coaching postition of the men's basketball team. At least there has been change in the latter, now for the former...

-Pistolier

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Hey Mr. D.J. won't you put a jersey on...

I want to start off by apologizing for the title and quickly move on to tell you about D.J. Stephens. Stephens is a 6'5 170lb SG from Harker Heights High School, located about an hour north of Austin, TX. He has dominated there as well as on his AAU team, Texas DI Ambassadors. Around Killeen, TX he is known as "Harker Heights Highlight Reel." Which is easy to believe after you read what his coach, Max Ivany, had to say about him, "Truly one of the nices kids I've ever had the opportunity to coach, he is one of the top dunkers in the country. Listen carefully folks, this is not "puffery". With a vert that is over 40", he's also one of the quickest leapers I've ever seen to boot. D.J.'s good for one unbelievable dunk per game."
(looks like a nice kid...who can dunk)
Many schools have reportedly been looking at Stephens; Western Kentucky, San Francisco, San Diego and Tulsa. But when the Tigers offered him a scholarship he happily accepted and Memphis rejoiced. Maybe because there has been some comparison of D.J. to Rodney Carney and we sure love that Timber Wolf. Who knows if the rumors are true about this walking highlight reel but here is a video of one of his ridiculous dunks.



What do you think, Tiger fans? Sound off.
-Grant

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Late Summer Roster Change...

Due to a knee injury suffered in France, Martin Ngaloro won't be joining the Tiger team this year. Yet, when one door closes, another opens, and through it walked D.J. Stephens, a 6'5'' forward being compared to Rodney Carney. More on D.J. Stephens soon...